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Ray’s difficult road to sobriety was paved with many failed attempts to get sober over the years. Each attempt was thwarted by the belief that his situation was somehow different than the people he met in 6 different treatment centers and sporadic AA meetings. The similarities of his loneliness and wanting to fit in were eclipsed by the differences he saw in his social standing and material advantages he enjoyed via his family of wealth and privilege. Each alcoholic debacle he encountered over the years, such as totaling 3 new BMWs and facing multiple DUI charges, was met by his parents’ earnest, yet enabling, efforts to bail him out of trouble. After each extrication, Ray’s half-hearted commitments to sobriety were accompanied by fabulous business opportunities that were viewed by all as some kind of antidote to his worsening alcoholism. Though he did quit drinking, he continued to use marijuana and his behavior didn’t change at all. The resulting downward slide, unaided by family help in the end, brought Ray both business ruin and ruptures in all of his relationships. He finally came back to AA. Though he encountered a few more slips along the way, he got a sponsor, worked the steps, and was ultimately able to claim his last sobriety date in 2009.
The gifts of sobriety have been many for Ray over the years and, most importantly, they’ve been gifts of similarity shared with his fellows in the Program. Instructive, too, have been the severe challenges he has faced, including his battle with a form of lymphoma that many people don’t survive. Through it all, Ray has developed a deep love for the Program and an unwavering commitment to service work. Especially during the Covid pandemic, when his co-morbidities made it impossible for live meetings, he has been instrumental in setting up and managing a number of Zoom AA meetings around the country. Thankfully, his is the first face of recovery that many new AA members encounter when they log onto Zoom for their first meeting.
I’m grateful to have Ray in my life and appreciate all he does for our AA community. I think you’ll find his story to be both encouraging and illustrative. So settle in for the next hour or so while you enjoy the inspiring words of my good friend and AA brother, Ray O.
Check out Howard’s Big Book Podcast, the complete unabridged audio version of the First and Second Editions of Alcoholics Anonymous. The Big Book Podcast is an engaging cover-to-cover, word-for-word reading of all 11 chapters and Personal Stories, many of which were left out of the Third and Fourth Editions. Subscribe for free on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. Or listen on https://bigbookpodcast.com
[Disclaimer: In strict adherence to A.A.’s traditions, my anonymous guests and I speak for ourselves only, not for Alcoholics Anonymous at large. We share only our personal experiences with A.A. recovery. We acknowledge that AA’s sole concern is the recovery and continued sobriety of those alcoholics who turn to the Fellowship for help. As members of AA, our primary purpose is to stay sober and to help other alcoholics achieve sobriety. – Howard L.]